Love Stories: What I’ve Learned About Dating in Silicon Valley

Subscriber Account active since. A new story from The Washington Post’s Drew Harwell delves into the dating scene in the Valley, and how the nation’s tech elite are beginning to feeling hopeless about their chances of finding a romantic partner. The Post cites dating app fatigue as one of the causes. Many dating apps may have originated in the Valley, but singles there are just as tired of swiping through seemingly endless potential matches and leaving their love lives in the hands of algorithms. Dating apps aren’t the only problem — culture is playing a role, too. According to several young singles the Post spoke to in the San Jose and San Francisco area, many of the men feel “outmatched or overlooked,” while women report feeling turned off by the strange or egotistical men the tech industry can attract. But a larger issue at play is the gender imbalance throughout the Valley. According to Census Bureau data cited by the Post, the male-to-female ratio for young and employed singles in the San Jose area is skewed in comparison with the rest of the country.

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By Fiona Kelliher. Powered in part by the tech world’s appreciation for avoiding unpleasant tasks or wasting time, plus a regional concentration of wealth and online dating fatigue, elite matchmaking has cemented itself as a small but thriving industry in the Bay Area. You can probably name half a dozen ride-sharing and food-delivery services off the top of your head. And even if you scoff at those who use them, you’ve probably heard of companies for outsourcing laundry pickup, dog walking, clothes shopping and plant buying.

But there’s one service hardly anyone will admit they’re paying for, even as it empties their pockets, shapes the way they dress and perhaps even who they marry: high-end matchmaking. And while the sky-high cost — ranging up to hundreds of thousands of dollars — is prohibitive, clients have to do more than just pay. You have to be accepted into the club. Aside from boasting an offshore account or two, that means having good looks, an elite education and usually a sparkling job — plus the right attitude, said matchmaker Amy Andersen, who runs Menlo Park-based Linx Dating.

Spanning a full wall in Andersen’s Menlo Park villa is a whiteboard with people who passed that test, including a venture capitalist, an astrophysicist, a Los Angeles plastic surgeon, an information security adviser, a Google corporate strategy executive and a North Bay architect — complete with notes like “nice sporty Marin dad” and “good hair”. Andersen started Linx more than 15 years ago after she grew tired of being a “female player” in San Francisco’s Marina dating scene, wondering why it was so hard for smart people to find the right match.

Upon moving to Palo Alto, she married a Stanford economics professor and built up a reputation with a wide roster of wealthy clients — many of them older women who feel the ticking of a biological clock or stereotypical Silicon Valley geeks. The process itself is simple enough. Andersen is approached by someone, usually a friend of an existing client, and screens them for the essentials.

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